wow it's been a while since i've blogged... it's a friday night tho so it's like a moment of respite before the mugging resumes.
it's a pity that i simply can't share the issues running thru my mind. the ppl i'd like to share with are probably the ones that my thoughts are concerned about, and hence have the most consequences on. such an irony that my ideas of relationships, the ideas that i feel abt the most, can hardly be shared, cos the ideas are either self-inducing paradoxes self fulfilling predictions once awareness is attained, since they are based on an assumption of ignorance. they affect the very relationships that are concerned and in that way, the ideas fall apart all over again. bah more crypticisms. if i can't even say it then why even mention it?
psychology of crypticisms... i think ppl are cryptic because on one hand, we want to share the things that are close to our hearts with other people. if we have ppl close to us, we obviously want them to know abt what matters to us. on the other hand, we also don't want to share that much cos sharing bares the soul. external defences are stripped away when we share with other ppl, and we take a risk in inviting rejection and we offer these secrets as weapons to be used against us. it is a result of the need to balance between these 2 opposing sentiments that we turn to cryptic messages and anonymous ramblings. but the thing is... in straddling the line, neither side gets satiated! it's just an endless cycle of frustration. sometimes when you put two half-empty glasses together, you just cannot get a full glass...
i should know... still reeling from the effects of revealing my soul. lolz so i can either say "ok i've been hurt enough" or i can say "i'll pesevere on". oh well. when things come, they just pile in altogether don't they.
Name: Foo Guo Zhong Melvyn
Age: 19+
Affiliations: MSHS (Pri), Rosyth, RI, RJC, SFX (LoG)
Bday: 14th Nov
Email: mel_protoss@hotmail.com
wow it's been a while since i've blogged... it's a friday night tho so it's like a moment of respite before the mugging resumes.
it's a pity that i simply can't share the issues running thru my mind. the ppl i'd like to share with are probably the ones that my thoughts are concerned about, and hence have the most consequences on. such an irony that my ideas of relationships, the ideas that i feel abt the most, can hardly be shared, cos the ideas are either self-inducing paradoxes self fulfilling predictions once awareness is attained, since they are based on an assumption of ignorance. they affect the very relationships that are concerned and in that way, the ideas fall apart all over again. bah more crypticisms. if i can't even say it then why even mention it?
psychology of crypticisms... i think ppl are cryptic because on one hand, we want to share the things that are close to our hearts with other people. if we have ppl close to us, we obviously want them to know abt what matters to us. on the other hand, we also don't want to share that much cos sharing bares the soul. external defences are stripped away when we share with other ppl, and we take a risk in inviting rejection and we offer these secrets as weapons to be used against us. it is a result of the need to balance between these 2 opposing sentiments that we turn to cryptic messages and anonymous ramblings. but the thing is... in straddling the line, neither side gets satiated! it's just an endless cycle of frustration. sometimes when you put two half-empty glasses together, you just cannot get a full glass...
i should know... still reeling from the effects of revealing my soul. lolz so i can either say "ok i've been hurt enough" or i can say "i'll pesevere on". oh well. when things come, they just pile in altogether don't they.